Of Faded Beads and Rusted Flowers - June, 2006

When I had written this:

It was love and I knew it. And it hurt; not enough to make me cry but just about enough to kill something inside of me.

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The Alleys of Love

Like a wandering thought

That I had held so close to my heart

That I had nurtured with my heartbeats

And guarded with my soul

Despite all this,that wandering thought

I think its lost
I knew its name

But now its gone

And now I see you smiling away

to glory and all that jazz

I know I don't think of you anymore

But it hurts somehow how we broke away

And when I think about it

You are just a thought away

You lit a fire that never died

I keep it lit as a spark in my eyes

Left unnoticed but it still survives

And explodes when my tears crawl

You cut my wings with no dagger or sword

Just those sharp edged words

When they said I do and when you didn't return

I saw my soul depart

It felt so cold and numb

As if it were never to come back

And I couldnot chase it to there

My body left so limp, frozen and tingling in fear

Now I see you I know

You are nothing more than a con

Who lied and stole and never returned

To cut the thread I was hanging with..

And still hung from the thread of hope

I saw myself fall into the dark abyss of life

That people call love.

I wonder how it was so easy for you

To love and then forget

Or to lie with such conviction

and leave your simple thought trapped in my bloody head

That night when you left me

I couldnot cry

But it rained in my parched heart

So much so that it was flooded

And I saw myself choke and die

And then when I dared to look outside

I heard the thunder roar in the night sky

And every rain that brings some joy

It brings me pain

Of those dark memories

The rotten black petals of your memories

That I have preserved still.

Deep inside in the burial ground

In that dark alley that people like to call love.